Rudy Jude hysteria & more white monsters
Plus debt & finance honesty
I forgot that it’s Friday, but here I am, so maybe I can get this out before the baby wakes up? Doubtful, but I’ll send it today, I promise! First thing I need to address is the fact that my idea for this week’s newsletter came BEFORE the Atlanta shootings. So I’m still going to write about what I was going to write about, because this newsletter is for things that are not quite so heavy as what the world is putting on us 24/7. That being said, I’m also going to ask readers to donate to Boston Chinatown Neighborhood Center. BCNC helps Asian and new immigrant families adjust and thrive, taking measures to support the health, education, economic success, and community engagement of the children, youth, and adults they support. I already mentioned this on Instagram, but as we know, stories disappear after 24h, and it bears repeating.
Anti-Asian racism and violence is not new. White monsters are not new. White boys being treated with kid gloves by the cops is not new. All of this is so heavy and crushing, and I find myself personally drowning in the loop of re-sharing the same infographics and posts, etc. I understand this works on a certain level, and gets information to people who may need it or not know, but it feels a little hollow to me. Anyway, I like to keep things closer to home if and when I can, so when my friend Ellen asked her friends to donate to BCNC for her birthday (tomorrow!), it seemed like the perfect small, local(ish) resource to spread awareness about. She posted asking for donations the day before the shootings.
Rudy Jude Hysteria
On Tuesday of this week, Rudy Jude had a pre-order for their coveted Utility Jeans. I’ve known of RJ for awhile now, because Julie O’Rourke has a studio in Belfast. I’ve always admired from afar for two reasons: I haven’t had enough money to justify a purchase, and I haven’t really been wild about a lot of the products, to be honest. I really don’t want this to be a dig at Rudy Jude, I appreciate a company that does what they’re doing: paying fair wages, producing sustainably and ethically, etc. But it has to be acknowledged that the price point is extremely prohibitive, and the style is simply not for everyone. Or is it? The hysteria surrounding Rudy Jude took hold of me sometime in the past year. It probably really hit when I got a text from a friend saying Rudy Jude needed a baby model, and that I should get in touch with Julie because my baby was 6 months old at the time. Now Vita is on the website! I unashamedly exploited my baby :)
Julie was so sweet and easy to talk to and perfectly styled in that undone East Coast rich person way. We left the shoot with two thermal tops, thermal pants, and the “signature thermal underall” pictured. I felt fancy as fuck, and was grateful to get these for “free”. The four items would have cost me $174 pre tax, something (I’m sorry, Vita) I would never pay for four items of baby clothes.
So, back to the denim pre-order. I’ve seen these jeans several times before and, like I said, I’ve never been wild about them. I think they’re beautiful, and seem to flatter several body types which is a testament to their design, but they just never struck me as something I needed, especially at the price of $240. Again, I understand quality and ethics and sustainability has a cost, and that’s okay, but also that’s a lot of money to spend on a pair of jeans. I barely bought any clothes for myself or my family over the past two years after I really ruined our finances opening a store. I truly had no idea how to budget or manage finances in any real way, because I’d lived paycheck to paycheck for my working life. I put thousands of dollars of product on credit cards (and, thanks to the recent stimulus JUST paid those two cards off a few days ago), and decimated our personal savings and checking account. So we put most things on hold while I built back our savings, and paid down our debt.
I love talking frankly about money and sex, and that makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Anyway, we’re in the frank money zone, and I totally screwed my family for a few years. BUT I learned more than I was ever taught about money (thanks mom, dad, and school) in those two years. We paid 20k of debt total over the past two years (this includes car and student loan, also), and managed part time daycare and midwife payments, in addition to mortgage, property taxes, buying our wood to heat for the year, etc on just around 50k/year. I don’t know what this means to people reading. I know that’s a lot more than a lot of people I know make, and a lot less than a lot of people I know make. I’m still proud (and disgusted) with paying 20k of debt.
Blah, blah, blah. All of this to say, I’ve finally reached this point where it feels like I can breathe deeply. Honestly, that’s because of the stimulus checks we’ve received this year, and our taxes (kids are great for tax returns). So now we have a solid emergency fund, 8k left in debt, and retirement accounts on auto-deposit (we do not have jobs that match). SO this means when I found out about the Rudy Jude pre-order, and knew another large stimulus was going to hit direct deposit the day after, I found myself in this weird, manic state of realizing I COULD AFFORD A PAIR OF RUDY JUDE JEANS!! But…did I really want them? Or was it just, now that they were accessible, I was craving them? I was working with my mother in law the day of the pre-order, which means a pretty busy day and not much time for online shopping. So there I was, just sweating and twisting myself into knots thinking “do I want these?” “should I get these?”, all the while knowing the order closed at 5pm and I’m not usually home by them. So then I’m like, do I rush home to place this order? I’m making myself SICK. This is more than we spend on groceries for a week, more than our health insurance costs for a month. I’m being confronted with the Nora of two years ago who thought I could just open a shop by putting everything on credit (don’t do it).
Long ass story short, I talked myself down. If I really want these, I know they’ll do another drop. If I really want these (which I might, because they really seem to flatter everyon), I can save up slowly. So I talked myself down from this absolute fugue state, but I think about all the people who didn’t. How many people set timers on their phones, and jump on the opportunity, and buy multiple sizes, and put that shit on credit?? And it made me think about the nature of limited drops. I have such an uneasy feeling about them, because they set off this manic state in how many people? I understand why smaller businesses NEED to do limited drops, but it also feels a little gross. And then I feel gross writing a whole newsletter about my designer jean induced mania, but I’m just being honest. And I KNOW there are folks out there with this same madness, this folie a deux.
Is it worse to be super broke and know you can’t buy anything new for your family for years, or is it worse to have the freedom to be an absolute nut about slow fashion? Whew, idk I’ll get back to you on that one. Oh yeah, also, all the clothes Vita got for modeling have gotten holes or started tearing at the seams. Again, this is not to shit on Rudy Jude, these were *probably* samples or imperfect pieces that she was willing to give away in return for modeling, right? But why didn’t I think about the most obvious thing first, when I was in my fervor? My lived experience with these garments is that they have fallen apart quickly. I wash cold and hang dry, and here we are.
Damn, if you’ve made it this far go buy yourself a pair of Rudy Jude jeans.
CONSUMED
This piece on Elle about the infamous Millinocket wedding this summer.
Still watching The Deuce, but nearing the end (80s, more coke, AIDS, more death)
This song I’d nearly forgotten about
1/4 a block of tofu (consumed by my baby, Vita) after milk, and a fruit and vegetable puree. “Wow, Vita, good appetite!” is something our toddler likes to say.
Several Pamela Reif exercise videos. She is NO JOKE (and also looks like a German barbie, god bless ya Pam).
March Ensemble prompts everyday for the month of March. It’s really helping me make my serial killer style “art”
like this! Okay, Okay, that’s it for this week. What actions are you taking to combat AAPI racism and violence?
xoxo, see you in hell- and a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the March 20 babies: my husband, my brother Vlad, Ellen (who I met back when I had that store that turned me into a debt monster), the first day of spring, and the beginning of The Iraq War
